Thursday, November 12, 2009

No, I'm Not Dead

Well, it's been like a month since I last made a post, but fear not, for I have returned! Where have I been you ask? Well, for one thing, mind your business kid; I'm a busy man with a lot of drugs to do. Anyhoo... on to today's important lesson. Just a little over 2 years ago I got dumped my girlfriend of 4 years. In the aftermath of our breakup (it was a doozy to say the least) I joined the online dating site OkCupid. It's basically the hipster dating site, it's free and it's a bunch of art students who drink PBR and such. So, I've been on this site for a minute, it's got it's good points and it's bad points, but overall nothing has really ever come from it. I mean I've gotten laid a couple of times, but whatever. Overall, I don't really use aside from trying to keep awake while at work. Which brings me to today's topic:

I GOT HIT ON BY A NAZI FROM SERBIA


Here, transcribed for you're pleasure, with additional commentary, is our convo. All spelling mistakes are as they were from the original messages, my commentary in bold.

Things started off innocently enough, a little discussion on one of my faves: the four color funnies:

(1:32:30 pm)malaLarva:hey boy

(1:32:50 pm)JonnyBikePunk:hi

(1:33:12 pm)malaLarva:what are common american comic books

(1:33:16 pm)malaLarva:??

(1:34:17 pm)JonnyBikePunk:well, we've got the batman and the superman and such, basically all the major superheros

(1:34:45 pm)malaLarva:all good comics here are italian

(1:35:04 pm)JonnyBikePunk:aha, and what are those?

(1:35:42 pm)malaLarva:flash gordon

(1:35:53 pm)malaLarva:zagor

(1:36:05 pm)malaLarva:corto maltese

(1:36:13 pm)JonnyBikePunk:i see.

(1:36:39 pm)JonnyBikePunk:i've only heard of flash gordon

Seeing how I didn't really have much to say about Italian comics, I decided to move our little exchange along:

(1:43:05 pm)JonnyBikePunk:so how did you come across my profile dear?

(1:43:35 pm)malaLarva:keyword

(1:43:40 pm)malaLarva:rockabily

(1:44:07 pm)JonnyBikePunk:i see. i'm really more of a punk rocker though

(1:44:22 pm)malaLarva:does it matter?

(1:44:48 pm)JonnyBikePunk:not really, although around chicago it can make a difference

This is where things take turn for the weird:

(1:50:36 pm)malaLarva:i am nazi-punk

(1:50:52 pm)JonnyBikePunk:really?

(1:51:28 pm)malaLarva:no one likes us nor punx nor skins

(1:51:53 pm)JonnyBikePunk:why are you a nazi?

Now, I rarely get the opportunity to talk to a gen-u-ine Nazi all that often, so I decided to do some digging and try to see what the fuck is going through this chick's head:

(1:52:10 pm)malaLarva:i dont like yellow aliens

(1:52:23 pm)JonnyBikePunk:well, i'm a jew

(1:52:23 pm)malaLarva:they are spreading like roaches all over

(1:52:40 pm)malaLarva: :)

(1:52:54 pm)JonnyBikePunk:what's with the smiley?

(1:53:03 pm)malaLarva:i am not antisammit (antisemitic)

(1:53:26 pm)JonnyBikePunk:well, the nazis kind of tried to exterminate my entire race

(1:53:33 pm)malaLarva:dey did

(1:53:59 pm)malaLarva:they put my grandfathers in camps

(1:54:16 pm)malaLarva:but i still dont like aliens

(1:54:17 pm)JonnyBikePunk:than how can you be a nazi?

(1:54:57 pm)malaLarva:i love my nation

(1:55:33 pm)malaLarva:and i dont like others inside of my borders

(1:56:03 pm)JonnyBikePunk:well that's fine, but identifying as a nazi goes far beyond patriotism. do you think that whites are superior to all other races?

(1:56:17 pm)malaLarva:for sure

(1:56:35 pm)JonnyBikePunk:well that's fucked up

(1:57:08 pm)malaLarva:and i dont mind blasks as long as they fuck their own girls

(1:57:43 pm)JonnyBikePunk:i don't know what to say

I have to say that her statement of "I don't mind blacks as long as they fuck their own girls" to be so ridiculous I nearly laughed out loud. Classic dumb ass hate monger.

(1:58:44 pm)JonnyBikePunk:well, do you consider jews to be white or are they a seperate race?

(1:58:58 pm)malaLarva:they are cursed people

(1:59:08 pm)JonnyBikePunk:why's that?

(1:59:14 pm)malaLarva:they killed the son of man

(1:59:32 pm)JonnyBikePunk:well, actually the roman empire did that. so you take the bible at face value?

(2:00:50 pm)malaLarva:sure

(2:01:14 pm)JonnyBikePunk:so you don't believe in evolution?

(2:01:33 pm)malaLarva:i dont

(2:02:10 pm)JonnyBikePunk:i see

(2:02:51 pm)JonnyBikePunk:well, not only am i a jew, but i also put my faith solely in science and not in 2000 year old myths

(2:04:12 pm)malaLarva:than you are not jewish

(2:04:23 pm)JonnyBikePunk:i am by birth

(2:04:46 pm)JonnyBikePunk:my mother is a jew, so that makes me a jew, and i'm very proud of my heritage

(2:04:52 pm)malaLarva:can someone become yew if he was born as muslim?

(2:04:54 pm)malaLarva:he can

(2:05:05 pm)malaLarva:so by that jew is who choses to be

(2:05:11 pm)malaLarva:not the one born as it

(2:05:26 pm)JonnyBikePunk:it's still my cultural heritage

(2:05:46 pm)malaLarva:than you are spitting on it

(2:05:57 pm)malaLarva:if you felt as it you would respect it

(2:06:22 pm)JonnyBikePunk:well, you obviously never heard of humanist jews

(2:06:33 pm)malaLarva:teach me

(2:08:11 pm)JonnyBikePunk:they're jews who honor they're cultural heritage without the religion. jews are unique because since we've always been segregated in all societies that beyond the religion we're also a separate nation. their are genetic disorder that only jews get. hence a jew is a jew by birth, whether or not they practice the religion

(2:09:27 pm)malaLarva:i dont get taking parts of it an leaving others

(2:09:29 pm)malaLarva:but ok

(2:09:37 pm)malaLarva:you have rite of it

(2:10:26 pm)JonnyBikePunk:but you see even though i don't believe in religion doesn't mean i don't have jewish blood

(2:10:40 pm)malaLarva:sure

(2:10:53 pm)malaLarva:but you are not jew if not living as one

(2:11:19 pm)JonnyBikePunk:if you say so, i know plenty of people who would disagree

(2:12:52 pm)malaLarva:common is not always rite

(2:13:48 pm)JonnyBikePunk:i doubt you're an expert in jewish relations

(2:14:03 pm)malaLarva:hehe

(2:14:37 pm)JonnyBikePunk:so what do you think of me than?

(2:14:51 pm)malaLarva:i like you defending yourself

(2:15:06 pm)malaLarva:i hate people siting in silence

(2:15:08 pm)JonnyBikePunk:if i don't who will?

(2:15:15 pm)malaLarva:you ge a big + :)

So there you guys have it, I got a big + from a Nazi. I think she wants to bone, but obviously she's not going to get a piece, what would my mother think?

If there's a common thread through all instances of prejudice that I've seen it's ignorance and willingness to accept things at face value (i.e. the Bible). Blood libel has been used against the Jews for centuries and it continues to this day. Than there's the notion of patriotism or nationalism or whatever you want to call it. With god and country on your side how you feel that you're in the right to do whatever is needed. The mindset is inherently narrow and as you can see above, difficult to reason with. Hopefully this chick will grow up one day and see how fucked her mindset is. If not, I hope she gets hit by a bus.

-Jon J