I Showed Up To The Tea Party With A Flask And Some Blow

Unfamiliar surroundings make some uncomfortable, not me. That's not to say I leap in head first, no no no. I keep to the back of the room, taking it all in. When it's time for me to take some action I straighten my jacket, clear my throat and get up on my soap box.

"If you think Barack Obama's destroying America, it's time to take a good like in the mirror"

Rotten vegetables fly forth from the retched refuse in front of me. I've angered they're sensibilities and they've turned hostile. Oh, they're seething now and about to prove my point.

"KIKE!"
"NIGGER LOVER"
"FAGGOT!"

Oh boy, who doesn't love a good Tea Party?

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Obamacare has passed and Armageddon is all but certain now, or so the story goes. So now the dissenters are pulling in ranks and pulling out stops. I'm certainly not against a group of people organizing themselves around a cause they care about to make they're voice heard BUT when that collective voice comes out hurling racial epithets, it's time to take a hard look at where we're headed.

Of course what I described at the top never actually happened, but I decided to use my good old friend creative license to make a point. If only the fiction was far off from the truth. As everyone knows by now following the passage of the healthcare reform bill thousands of protesters descended on Washington to let the democrats know that they were none to happy about. That’s all fine and good, in fact it’s exactly what’s great about America, the fact that you can openly disagree with your government and make your voice heard in a public arena. But things went a little bit further then expressing outrage over what the government is doing.

As Rep. John Lewis passed through the crowd there were shouts of “nigger”. When Rep. Barney Frank passed it was “faggot”. Both of these congressmen are Democrats who voted for the healthcare bill, but that’s not what they were being called out for. They were being called out for being who they are. A black man and a gay man, things that have nothing to do with the bill they voted for.

I’m not really all that surprised. I would never put it past the Jesus&Guns loving, marginally educated rabble that make up the Tea Party movement to be anything but racist, homophobic assholes that’ve been whipped up into a frothing furor by the likes of so many Fox News pundits. But how could anyone defend that kind of behavior? There’s been plenty of condemnation from the left, but shouldn’t one of the Tea Party’s leaders come forward and say that that kind of behavior isn’t something they want to encourage? I mean that’s unless they don’t mind they’re movement to be associated with racism and homophobia.

The de facto methodology of the Tea Party movement has thus far been fear mongering, irrational outburst akin to a 2 year old’s temper tantrum. We’re so used to partisanship in American politics at this point it’s easy to just throw up your hands and say the two sides will never reach any kind of compromise, find any middle ground to move this country forward. If that’s really the case than our system is truly and irreparably broken. All we really need is a couple of major political figures on both sides of the aisle to say enough is enough and actually try to open up a rational dialogue. But that’s just never going to happen, is it? No one benefits politically by being rational, and all politics is about in America today is making sure you still have a job after the next election.

Maybe we really should just burn it all to the ground.

-Jon J

Do I Really Need To Come Up WIth a Title? I Do? Well, Alright Then....

I haven't been keeping up with this as much as I was before, been busy, hustling for that dollar. Also, I've been hungover a lot lately, which is not the ideal mode to be in while trying to organize thoughts. So what's new? Patrick Swayze died, and I didn't care. Nothing against the guy, Point Break is fucking incredible, but when Jim Carroll dies the day before and no one seems to give a fuck, I can't really give a fuck about some washed up actor. But there are bigger fish to fry; namely one who likes fish dicks, Mr. Kanye West.

So at the recent VMAs Kanye West jumps on stage during Taylor Swift's acceptance for the Best Female Video award and proceeds to rant about how Beyonce deserved the award, everyone's outraged blah blah blah. But you know what? I don't think it's that shocking. This Kanye West after all, if anything he's shown that he never knows when to keep his mouth shut. More so, I think Kanye can be held up as an example of our generation.
I'm completely serious. I'm not saying it's a good thing, but I think it's stock and trade for Generation Y to be prone to egotistical outbursts and attention grabbing behavior. We're talking about people who grew up with the little league culture of "everyone gets a trophy" and Barney telling all the kids that they're special and unique blah blah fucking blah. American culture is all about self-promotion, accolades for little achievement. Paris Hilton is famous because she's, well, famous. Stars don't get treated like everyone else, they're special and unique flowers who must be handled with care all the goddamn time, you wouldn't want to rattle them would you? We all know how fragile they are, precious stones to be shined and put on display in a glass case.

That's all well and good for the Hollywood set, stars have been pampered, self-centered babies forever, but the attitude is leaking from those rarefied heights down the line to the rest of the chum. The generation brought up on the junk culture of ego and celebrity have also had access to all these social networking sites from an early age. Kids get to stroke their egos and quantify their popularity, creating a culture of pompous self-importance. Myspace, Facebook, Twitter, all tools used to continually reinforce for people their popularity, their social value. Because of this, I nominate Kanye West as the spiritual leader for this new generation of self-centered 20 something babies. He is a symbol of commitment to one's ego, the "me first" attitude. Who else can be such a consummate jackass as the illustrious Mr. West. Paris Hilton? Eh, we've kind of moved past all that, haven't we?

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So I will be away from sweet home Chicago for the next 3 days, trading in the city of big shoulders for some southern hospitality. I'll be in Nashville for the Hootenanny, I plan on drinking moonshine and riding bikes all day. I haven't really gone anywhere this summer, not even to jaunt up north to Milwaukee, Algonquin for the "Good Land", so it will be nice to cross some state lines. Hoping to return with a tall tale or two, and maybe, just maybe, some fresh injuries. For those of you in Chicago this weekend I suggest checking out the Brew Not Bombs show on Saturday, the 19th. Good friends the Read and Al Scorch will be playing along with local favorites Sassdragons and The Rustbelt Ramblers. Last but not least, we've got two of my favorite bands playing, Bloomington Indiana's Defiance, Ohio and This Bike is A Pipe Bomb out of Pensacola, Florida. Check it out for the rock and roll musics. 3951 W Fullerton 8:00pm $8

That's all
-Jon J

The Right Wing Needs To Get Clipped

You have to be retarded to be a conservative. I say this not because of any of their positions or beliefs or what not (although it does make them idiots) but it's their reaction to everything, actually it's more like their OVERREACTION to everything.

This time around it's the fact that Barack Obama plans on addressing the nation's school children. Next Tuesday the president plans on making a televised appearance to encourage kids to study hard and stay in school. Not unlike former president George H. Bush's address to school kids in 1991 to encourage kids to say no to drugs. But if you listen to all the backwards thinking, evolution denying neo-cons out their Obama plans to indoctrinate America's youth with his socialist agenda.

Alright, let's get one thing straight right here, right now. Barack Obama is NOT A SOCIALIST. If he was I would be a lot happier with the guy. He's in corporate America's back pocket just like every other politician. (Just check out his bailout for proof of that.) There by he's not going to push some socialist agenda, he doesn't have one. Let's examine a quote from one mom who's obviously full of shit:

"Thinking about my kids in school having to listen to that just really upsets me," a suburban Colorado mother, Shanneen Barron, told CNN affiliate KMGH-TV in Denver.

"I'm an American. They are Americans, and I don't feel that's OK. I feel very scared to be in this country with our leadership right now."

Yeah, it's scary to think about someone encouraging your children to stay in school and study, because then they might be able to think, which obviously is some kind of issue for you.

So your an American eh? And your kids are too? Well guess what? So is the president. Um, so you can shut the fuck up now. Read a goddamn book, something other than the bible, and then you can open your mouth again.

Fuck this country.

-Jon J

There's A Lot Going On With Dead Rock Stars Today

Two things in the news today that have to do with dead rock icons. First, there's word that "Sublime" will be continuing their "reunion" by playing the Smokeout Fest October 24-26th. Secondly we have word that the Sussex police are reopening their investigation into the 1969 death of Rolling Stones guitarist Brian Jones.

Alright, let's start out by working backwards towards the present. Brian Jones was found dead in the pool of East Sussex home (formerly owned by Winnie the Pooh creator A.A. Milne) on July 3rd, 1969. At the time the Sussex police ruled Jone's demise to be the result of "death by misadventure" (which is how I hope to go out). Almost immediately accusations were made that the police hadn't thoroughly investigated the death and that Jones hadn't died from "misadventure" but had in fact been murdered.

Well the Sussex police have reopened the case. Although they have not revealed any new evidence or leads or any real reasons for reopening the case, they are treating it as a murder investigation this time around. For years people close to Jones have said that Jones died at the hands of Frank Thorogood, a live-in builder at Jones' residence at the time of his death. Thorgood died in 1994. Hopefully this new investigation will finally answer the question of how did Brian Jones really die some forty years after the fact.

Moving on, 90's ska/punk act Sublime will be reuniting to play Cypress Hill's Smokeout Fest this year. But wait a second, is Sublime's frontman, lead singer and songwriter Bradley Nowell dead? Yep, as a doornail. So how can this be you ask? Well, the other two guys in Sublime found some dude who sounds like Brad and are going to go around calling themselves Sublime. Worked for the Germs right?

It's been the trend of late for bands that have disbanded to get back together and go on the reunion tour circuit. Just this year we've blink 182 and No Doubt get back together and do large scale summer tours. The Misfits and The Dead Kennedys have been up to the entire reunion gig thing for years now, both with new lead singers. Now, I've got much less of a problem with the blinks and the No Doubts out there reforming. They've reformed as intact bands with the same members that you remember being in those bands. Then there's the second tier, the Misfits and Dead Kennedys out there who have replace their revered, but still living, lead singers with some ringers so they can go out on the road and make a quick buck or two. This is lame as fuck and anyone who would shell out good money to go and see these acts is a chump of the highest regard. But that's not the worst of it, oh no.

The real worst of the worst is the bands who a pivotal member has not just left the band, but DIED and then they reform with some ringer up their on the mic. It's necrophilic karaoke just after the quickest of bucks. Look, we've had The Doors of the 21st Century, Queen + Paul Rodgers, The Germs with Shane West and now we've got Sublime with some dude named Rome. Not only do these act reform, tour and sometimes put out new records, but PEOPLE WILL ACTUALLY PAY TO SEE THEM! Why? What's the point of seeing some over-hyped, glorified tribute band? I don't know, for me when I have a connection with a group I find to be in the worst taste to go see some facsimile band pretending to be said band. Would you go see the Beatles without John and George? The Clash without Joe Strummer? Nirvana without Kurt Cobain? I wouldn't, but I have a feeling some of you out there would, and that's terrible.

There ought to be a law, that's all I'm saying. The Federal Don't Reform Band Whose Members Are Dead Act. I want to see this on the senate floor by next week people. Get to work, write your congressman today.

-Jon J

AFI Is A Joke

Hey everybody! Does anyone remember a band by the name of AFI? Oh you do, excellent. Wait, did you just call them "that gothy punk band with the dude that looks like a chick"? Well, that's really not accurate, for one thing Davey Havoc cut his hair, and no longer looks like chick. You also called them a punk band. They USED to be a punk band, but that hasn't really been the case in a number of years. At this point you can really only categorize them as one thing: a giant fucking joke.

Look at this horrible, ugly piece of shit album cover. That's the cover for the new AFI album, Crash Love. Ummm...... weird hearts that envelop the word crash written in cursive is not what a punk band puts on their album cover. And what's with the weird gold background? Who designed this? A 14 year old girl, that's who. It has to be, because I refuse to believe that any adult would make something this retarded. I don't even need to listen to this album to know that it's going to be a giant, steaming turd. Mr. Havoc has this to say on the new album: "I am so proud of this record. I really believe it's the best AFI record. It honestly feels like we've made our first truly timeless record. We didn't set out to do that--you can't set out to do something like that--but it definitely feels like that's what we've achieved: created the album by which we'll be remembered".

Alright, now I'm going to rewrite that sentence to make it a little more accurate. "I am so ashamed of this record. I really believe it's the worst AFI record. It honestly feels like we've made our first truly pointless record. We didn't set out to do that--you can't set out to do something like that--but it definitely feels like that's what we've achieved: created the album by which we'll be remembered as a band of fucktards."

Stop. Remaking. Movies.

Guess what kids, some Hollywood fuckheads think that remaking Yellow Submarine is a great idea! Early today Mike Fleming of Variety reported that Robert Zemeckis and Disney are planning on doing a remake of the classic Beatles cartoon.

What the fuck? Is this really necessary? No, it's not. The original cartoon was absolutely brilliant, so what's the point of doing it over again? I don't know about you, but I grew up on the Beatles, it's a cherished childhood memory for me and I know it is for a lot of other people out there. It's not as though you can't go out and buy a copy of the original movie on DVD or whatever. Hollywood needs to start coming up with their own ideas instead of pillaging cinema's past to turn a buck nowadays.
I have an idea, why not make an animated Flaming Lips movie? Their entire oeuvre would work perfectly for a psychedelic cartoon. You can have giant pink robots and bubbles floating everywhere, it would be really cool, and all though slightly derivative, a new movie instead of a rehash of an old one.

That's all I have to say on the subject.

On a side note, I added Abe Lincolns quotes to my blog a couple days ago. Why? Abe Lincoln's the motherfucking man, motherfuckers. More on that later.

-Jon J

It's 2009 and I'm Still Bitching About Clear Channel Conclussion

Continued from yesterday.....

Back in Grand Rapids there are some signs of hope. A few years ago some students got together in a store front and start hosting shows. They dubbed themselves the DAAC; the Division Ave. Arts Cooperative. They inhabited a store front in a part of Grand Rapids that was undergoing an “urban renewal” i.e. clearing out the crack houses and the gang activity. Down the street was Skelatones; a coffee house hosting local shows. Slowly things were coming back to life.

One of the aspects of our current predicament is that it forces a community to go back to the long held ideal of DIY. When all the outlets are in the control of one hand, musicians and fans are forced to seek out some way to get there music out. Embracing the basements and coffee houses, college radio stations and the internet as a means to get music out there and bring people together creates a more immediate and personal experience. When I think back to the best I’ve been to or have played it’s inevitably some cramped, sweaty space with scores of kids brought together for a single purpose. By creating our own alternative media outlets we have the ability to control the content, we don’t need to force-fed what some marketing people think is the next big thing. How much longer does broadcast radio have anyway? We live in an ever changing world; with new technologies being developed every single day, radio is a dinosaur at this point, doomed for extinction. Maybe we should just let the vulture pick at the rotting corpse.

But the reality is that for the time being the majority of people are still going to listening to broadcast radio. That means that most people are going to be exposed to a limited range of artists, a limited range of sounds. As far as I’m concerned what Clear Channel is doing is basically tantamount to brainwashing. Maybe their entire goal is to get people to stop listening to music.

I want our airwaves back; plain and simple. There used to be enough room for everyone to have their little piece of the pie, there’s plenty of frequencies on that dial. But now that pie is getting smaller and smaller. If we let this continue one day there won’t be any left at all.

For the first time in my life I wish I could turn on a smooth jazz station in Chicago.

It's 2009 and I'm Still Bitching About Clear Channel Part Two

Continued from yesterday's post.

One day everything changed over at WGRD. They had been owned by Clear Channel for several weeks, but it happened all at once. In the interim Clear Channel had systematically taken control of virtually the entire market. The sole exception was KLQ, a local hard rock station that had been operating with a strong “profit first” mentality. They resisted being bought out because the owner thought he could make more money than Clear Channel had offered him. It was now time for Clear Channel to set its plans in motion. (Isn’t it a bit odd that the actions of Clear Channel sound like the machinations of some Saturday morning cartoon villain? The more I write this the more I feel I’m describing the actions of Lex Luthor and The Joker on an episode of Super Friends. If only Batman were here to save us from shitty radio.) The change was abrupt and immediate. They issued an approved list of artists and songs to be played. People lost there jobs and an entire local scene lost its support system.

It’s truly disheartening to watch all this happen. It just illustrates what a precarious position are national airwaves are in. When a single corporate entity can come in a seize control of an entire industry such as Clear Channel has it hearkens back to the days of the robber barons and oil tycoons. Are we really so nearsighted? Didn’t we learn these lessons? We’re only about thirty years out of the break up AT&T’s monopoly over the telephone industry. (Although if one looks at the way AT&T has expanded over the past several years we’re edging closer to a repeat. Maybe were in the middle of a Timequake. [For those unfamiliar with Timequakes, check out Kilgore Trout’s excellent memoir, “My Ten Years on Auto Pilot”]*). As our current economic crisis illustrates allowing corporations free reign does nothing but doom us all. Maybe Marx had it right. (That counts both Karl and Groucho.)

Grand Rapids lacked a strong college radio presence, WGRD had been so supportive of local music there hadn’t really been any need for one. In Clear Channel’s wake local venues often had to move locations, some flat out shut down. The entire scene was in disarray. Those who remained at WGRD did what they could to try and fight back in whatever meager way they could. Since they were limited to what music they could play (it had to come off the afore-mentioned list) they played Beach Boys songs and other artists who you wouldn’t hear on an alternative rock station. “The goal was if we run this into the ground, what are they going to do? They’re not going to want to own us anymore. That wasn’t the case at all. They could give a fuck; they had all kinds of money coming in from left and right.”

************************************

So all this has been going on for over a decade at this point. All across the nation entire broadcast markets are controlled by a single corporate entity. This mass now dictates what the majority of the country listens to. It’s 2009 and an exec at Clear Channel is claiming to care about music. It sounds like a lot of doublespeak to me. If all of the actions of your company are devoted to a Napoleonic take over of America’s radio industry, when you employ tactics that would make Machiavelli cringe, how can you really claim to “care about the music”?

So what do we do? The reality of the David and Goliath face-off is that 9 times out 10 Goliath is going to win. Clear Channel controls the industry and there’s little that can be done, that is unless someone out there has the money to buy up stations before Clear Channel, if there are even any stations left. For a little bit of background it was during the Clinton administration that the FCC first lifted their restrictions on the number of stations one entity could own in a given market. The Bush administration further loosened these restrictions at the beginning of the millennia. Now as far as I’m concerned Clear Channel has clearly become a monopoly at this point. It goes further than merely the radio stations though. The same corporate entity owns venues, billboards, and various other outlets. This means that only certain artists are able to play at Clear Channel controlled venues. Some artists, such as Bright Eyes, have made their feelings on the matter very public, refusing to play at any venue that is owned by Clear Channel. That’s a start. Look, we sit at a very interesting point in history in regards to the entire music industry. We have a corporate monopoly going unchecked over our airwaves, major record labels are unable to turn a profit, and the entire thing is in shambles. But all this really means is that it’s up to us. We, musicians, fans, independent promoters and venues really need to come together and carve out our piece. We are looking at, no, we have seen, the last days of business as usual for the music industry. If we are able to come together now, while majors are scrambling to restructure, we can create a vibrant, diverse and challenging musical landscape. You know what else? Maybe we can even figure out a way of making this sustain itself. Maybe if people were offered music that they could connect with, that was real and immediate, maybe than they might be more likely to part with some cash.

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*Actually, you need to read Timequake by the great Kurt Vonnegut

It's 2009 and I'm Still Bitching About Clear Channel Part One

Today I'm going to share with you part one in a three part piece about the Clear Channel corporation. Enjoy!

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Allisa Scanlon was a freshman in college in 2001. At that time she began an internship at a Grand Rapids, Michigan, alternative radio station. The station in question, WGRD, was an independently operated radio station at the core of a thriving local music scene. They booked the local venue, The Intersection; they played local artists on the air and lent their overall support to the Grand Rapids music scene. By the time she would start her sophomore year the station would have been bought by Clear Channel along with most of the other radio stations in the area. As a result of her experience Allisa would abandon her hopes of pursuing a career in broadcasting.

The entire idea of a radio station playing local artists and being involved in promoting local music is unfortunately an antiquated notion in 2009, much in line with beta-max and 8-track tapes. But not too long ago that’s what radio did. In the 1960’s you had garage rock bands scoring regional hits and releasing their records largely to their local audience. Sometimes these records would get picked up and a band would be given the opportunity for nationwide exposure. The entire system for artists to distribute their music and gain a following was a much more organic process. Record companies and radio stations still made money this way, and artists could develop the kind of followings and relationships needed for a vibrant and diverse music scene. Sadly this is no longer the case.

Clear Channel’s move through the Grand Rapids radio market was slow at first. They would acquire stations one by one, claiming that they would not be making any changes. And at first there weren’t any. Allisa recalled: “They waited. They waited until they owned enough radio stations. In all honestly they bought almost all the radio stations. So they waited until they had bought everything so no one would have another choice.” As a result those at the recently acquired radio stations were lulled into a false sense of security. Much of the staff at these stations had heard the stories and rumors from other markets that had been taken over by Clear Channel, but the lack of changes at the beginning made some doubt if what they had heard was true. They would soon learn this was not the case what so ever.

“Once they had control over everything it was like ‘here are the changes’. It was an iron fist. If you don’t like it you were removed that day from the office, you even remotely put up a fight, say you disagree with something. No more local music cds, no more money goes out the door to any local music productions, shows, nothing without approval. It was here are the bands you can play. So you took this organization, this community, that was so involved, and completely demolished it.”

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I’ve never been a fan of smooth jazz. I’ve always thought of it as boring, generic music. To me it’s just filler, grocery store background elevator music. For whatever reason, my dad used to listen to the smooth jazz station, WNUA 95.5, on his way home from work from time to time. Most of time his radio was tuned into NPR, but every once and awhile he would put on smooth jazz. Even at seven or eight I was bored out of my mind, more bored than if we had been listening to NPR.

Well, if I’m ever in the car with my dad in the future I won’t have to be worrying that he’ll be tuning into WNUA. That’s because Clear Channel has decided to switch that station’s format from smooth jazz/adult contemporary to a Spanish language pop station. This honestly makes little difference to me. I wasn’t listening to it when it was a smooth jazz station. I’m not going to listen to it now that it’s a Spanish pop station; the change has no affect on me. But I’m sure there are those out there who are really going to miss that station. Now, I know that this happens all the time, maybe a little bit too often these days. But this isn’t just a sign of trying economic times; this was a station that is owned by a massive media conglomerate. Here are some of the remarks that Tony Coles, the vice president of programming and operations for Clear Channel Radio Chicago’s six-station cluster; made in regards to the change-over. He was quoted in the Chicago Tribune as saying the following: “This is something we really struggled with. We’re fans of WNUA. So it was really tough to even have conversations about the end of that radio station.”

Something reeks of insincerity.

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Get the Fuck Out of My Way

Do you ride public transportation? Do you use elevators? Well I do, I do these things every single day and I'm starting to get pissed off. What are so pissed off about Jon J I hear you ask? Is it the fact that the CTA can't ever run on time? No, gentle reader, I'm used to that, the CTA has never run on time, and to expect any different would be folly on my end. Is it an onslaught of claustrophobia from those cramped L cars and elevator compartments? Once again I say no, comes with the territory. What's bothering me is the fucking people. Not the crowds, not the vagrants, drunks and screaming children. What my problem is boils down to a simple issue of etiquette.

People who are getting on the train need to stop standing directly in front of the goddamn doors. If you stand directly in front of the doors it prevents the people who are trying to get off the train from being able to do so. This creates a CLUSTERFUCK!

It seems to me to be a pretty simple concept really. If people are trying to get off the train or an elevator or whatever stand aside and let them get off, thus making it easier for you to get on. Seriously, shoving your way onto a train when someone else is trying to get off is one the most selfish, inconsiderate things I can think of, and I see constantly. This is one of the sure signs that our society is in a state of decline.

I'm done playing nice, the next time this fucking happens to me I'm just going to head-butt my way through the aching sea of humanity. If the problem persists I am considering unleashing some kind biological weopon on you reprobates. Actually, scratch that, I don't want to get on any kind of FBI watch list or something. If you're a member of some kind of fedaral agency or something you should read that last sentence as "I am going to get everyone a kitten to play with." There, I think I covered my ass on that one.

That's all. Tune in next time, same Bat-time, same Bat-channel.