I Showed Up To The Tea Party With A Flask And Some Blow

Unfamiliar surroundings make some uncomfortable, not me. That's not to say I leap in head first, no no no. I keep to the back of the room, taking it all in. When it's time for me to take some action I straighten my jacket, clear my throat and get up on my soap box.

"If you think Barack Obama's destroying America, it's time to take a good like in the mirror"

Rotten vegetables fly forth from the retched refuse in front of me. I've angered they're sensibilities and they've turned hostile. Oh, they're seething now and about to prove my point.

"KIKE!"
"NIGGER LOVER"
"FAGGOT!"

Oh boy, who doesn't love a good Tea Party?

******

Obamacare has passed and Armageddon is all but certain now, or so the story goes. So now the dissenters are pulling in ranks and pulling out stops. I'm certainly not against a group of people organizing themselves around a cause they care about to make they're voice heard BUT when that collective voice comes out hurling racial epithets, it's time to take a hard look at where we're headed.

Of course what I described at the top never actually happened, but I decided to use my good old friend creative license to make a point. If only the fiction was far off from the truth. As everyone knows by now following the passage of the healthcare reform bill thousands of protesters descended on Washington to let the democrats know that they were none to happy about. That’s all fine and good, in fact it’s exactly what’s great about America, the fact that you can openly disagree with your government and make your voice heard in a public arena. But things went a little bit further then expressing outrage over what the government is doing.

As Rep. John Lewis passed through the crowd there were shouts of “nigger”. When Rep. Barney Frank passed it was “faggot”. Both of these congressmen are Democrats who voted for the healthcare bill, but that’s not what they were being called out for. They were being called out for being who they are. A black man and a gay man, things that have nothing to do with the bill they voted for.

I’m not really all that surprised. I would never put it past the Jesus&Guns loving, marginally educated rabble that make up the Tea Party movement to be anything but racist, homophobic assholes that’ve been whipped up into a frothing furor by the likes of so many Fox News pundits. But how could anyone defend that kind of behavior? There’s been plenty of condemnation from the left, but shouldn’t one of the Tea Party’s leaders come forward and say that that kind of behavior isn’t something they want to encourage? I mean that’s unless they don’t mind they’re movement to be associated with racism and homophobia.

The de facto methodology of the Tea Party movement has thus far been fear mongering, irrational outburst akin to a 2 year old’s temper tantrum. We’re so used to partisanship in American politics at this point it’s easy to just throw up your hands and say the two sides will never reach any kind of compromise, find any middle ground to move this country forward. If that’s really the case than our system is truly and irreparably broken. All we really need is a couple of major political figures on both sides of the aisle to say enough is enough and actually try to open up a rational dialogue. But that’s just never going to happen, is it? No one benefits politically by being rational, and all politics is about in America today is making sure you still have a job after the next election.

Maybe we really should just burn it all to the ground.

-Jon J

Adam Lambert is A Punk

Oh hi there, it's been a while, hasn't it? I've been away , business outside of the country, had to keep a close eye on some of "interests". Let's just say it involved the CIA and some wet work, all very illegal, all very erotic. But just because I've been gone doesn't mean that the world has stopped turning, a shock to both yourself and me, I assure you. Today I would like to turn your attention to one American Idol alum, Adam Lambert.

Adam Lambert (pictured above) is punk as fuck.

Now hold on a second before you start believing that I've lost my mind. No, I haven't gone mainstream, sold out or any of that business. All I ask that you indulge me for a moment and reserve your judgments until after I've finished.

So this morning I was trolling along the internet as usual, checking out the top stories and such, when I came across an editorial from the Wall Street Journal written by one Peggy Noonan. Now, Peggy's piece references a Wall Street Journal/NBC News poll that claims that 55% of Americans feel like this country is going down the shitter. Hmmm....only 55%, apparently the other 45% of American's have there's heads firmly planted up their asses. I mean there's good reason for Americans to lack faith in the good ole' U.S. of A.'s future. We are currently involved in two wars that don't have any sign of ending, we are facing the worst economic crisis in nearly 80 years, the entire world is facing certain environmental catastrophe , this country's entire industry base has been outsourced; setting up China to be the true superpower of the next century AND millions of Americans are currently living without health care. I mean you would need some really, REALLY good drugs not have a feeling of dread creeping up your psyche. (If anyone is currently in position of said really good drugs, well you know where to find me.) But you see, that's not the real problem. Of course not! I mean the real problem is obvious:

It's the queers. Come on now; it's always the queers.

Well, ok, it's not ALWAYS the queers. Sometimes it's heavy metal, or comic books, or role-playing games, but THIS time it's the queers. At least that's what Peggy Noonan thinks.

To have her explain it, the real problem in America isn't the economic crisis or our endless wars, no it's American Idol's Adam Lambert's really gay performance at the American Music Awards this past November. I don't mean gay in sense of something that a 12 year old thinks is lame, no I mean hot sweaty man on man loving. You see this little glam kid went on ABC in primetime and performed some shitty song, which would have been all fine and good, there's nothing the American public loves more than some reality TV star belting out some bland Top 40 bullshit. But you see the thing is that Adam's performance involved him walking around a guy and girl on a leash (oh no! bondage! *gasp*), miming oral sex (heaven forbid!), and AND making out with another man! The immediate reaction of the typical heterosexual American man after having seen this was the undeniable urge to go out and suck a dick, BECAUSE HE SAW IT ON THE TV! This led to the degradation of American values, the break down of the two parent household and made the baby Jesus cry (right before his birthday, no less).

Now you see Peggy knows what to do in this situation. As well she should. She was a special assistant to the president in the White House of Ronald Reagan; an administration known for their enlightened stance and being for our First Amendment Rights. Oh wait, no they weren't. They were the guys who wanted to put warnings on Twisted Sister records. Yeah, that's right; they hated rock n' roll and brought the Evangelical Right into power. Hmmmm....

You see Peg thinks that we must maintain "Higher, stricter standards" due to the fact that "For years now, without anyone declaring it or even noticing it, we've had a compromise on television." Well, I do agree that we've had a compromise on television for sure, Arrested Development gets canceled but you can still watch 2 1/2 Men. But what I don't agree with is censorship.

The reaction to Lambert's performance on the AMAs is the same old fire and brimstone outrage that the reactionary part of the population always pulls. I mean we really should be used to it. The thing that really gets to me though is that it's always the flag waving patriots who are oh so outraged. Now, I'm no history expert (although I did take honors World Civilization and American History in High School), but one of the big reasons why people came to this country in the first place was to live somewhere they could BE FREE! I fully understand that the initial settlers were bat-shit nuts Christian fundamentalists who fucking burnt people they thought were witches, but, luckily for all of us who have some semblance of a brain, our country was founded by some very forward thinking men who knew the danger of censorship and how important it was to protect the speech of the MINORITY. Here's the first amendment for anyone who's forgotten:

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."

That seems pretty straight forward, doesn't it? A pretty important cornerstone to our society I would say. It seems to me the most patriotic and American thing that someone could do is to exercise their constitutional rights. Nowhere does it say that one cannot exercise their right when there might be minors present, or those who might find what they have to express to be offensive. The very reason why the first amendment is so important is that it protects the speech that IS offensive. There's no need to protect somebody saying something that everybody agrees with.

For years now we as Americans have watched as our freedoms have been slowly stripped away from us. The social conservatives in this country have always tried to make sure everyone lived by THEIR rules. They've painted everyone who thought differently than them as some kind of monster, waiting in the shadows to shoot up little Jimmy with heroin as they anal rape sweet little Suzy. It doesn't matter what it was- Mexican migrants, Black jazz musicians, communists, feminists, you name it. They've put the blame for all the ills of society on music, art and literature. You can't read Burroughs! You can't listen to a Dead Kennedys record! You should never see work of art that exposes someone's genitals! Because once the devil gets in there, it's harder than hell (get it?) to get him out. Let's get rid of the long hairs, the beatniks and the punks so nice Christian Americans (Real Americans) can live in piece and harmony.

We live in a country that's deeply divided, this is true. We're stuck, we've dug our heels into the ground and we're not going anywhere. People lament the end of the American Century, as if they haven't brought us to this point themselves. Once you halt progress you kill growth, kill evolution. The root of this is fear. When the conservatives saw Adam Lambert on the AMAs they were afraid of him, afraid of the statement he was making. Why are they afraid? Well, they're obviously not comfortable dealing with their own homoerotic tendencies. I've never really understood why straight guys are so intimidated by gay dudes. The way I see the more gay dudes, the more pussy for me. But that's just me.

Also, how about the parents who care so much about what their precious little babies see, I don't know, take charge themselves and TURN OFF THE TV. Better yet, just get rid of your TV.

In MaximumRockNRoll's recent queer issue Mykel Board wrote that being gay/lesbian/whatever isn't really all that queer anymore. Well Mykel you may be right in regards to the insular punk/metal/whatever community, but as far as "Middle America" is concerned being butt pirate or a rug muncher or going back and forth is still considered pretty queer. I love you Mykel Board; but this time YOU'RE wrong.

So here's to you Adam Lambert, you might make horrible music; but you pissed everyone off in the way a true punk rocker does.

-Jon J

ALSO GOING ON INSIDE MY HEAD:

- When you think about Green Day's career pretty much encapsulates the history of Rock n Roll itself. They started off as a scrappy little band (Rock n Roll in the 50's) and then exploded into the mainstream (Rock n Roll in the 60's) and have now become the kind of shitty band that makes rock operas and broadway musicals (the 70's). They went from being (young) Elvis to Genesis. That's more than most bands do.

- I got to see MUNICIPAL WASTE on their "Waste the World" tour last month. The show was FUCKING INCREDIBLE! The line-up was Municipal Waste, Phobia, Off With Their Heads and Cauldron. I had never heard Cauldron before and they were absolutely fucking awesome. Spandex, long hair, fast and heavy. Everything a good metal band should have. Off With Their Heads did not disappoint, as I knew they wouldn't, but it was a definite highlight when they played "Call the Cops", as I understand they don't really play that song too often. I could be wrong though. Phobia, well, they bored the shit out me. I like crust, but I need my crust to be FAST. Municipal Waste, well, were Municipal Waste. What I mean by that is they TOTALLY DESTROYED! FACES WERE MELTED! I had a serious bangover the next day.

The Right Wing Needs To Get Clipped

You have to be retarded to be a conservative. I say this not because of any of their positions or beliefs or what not (although it does make them idiots) but it's their reaction to everything, actually it's more like their OVERREACTION to everything.

This time around it's the fact that Barack Obama plans on addressing the nation's school children. Next Tuesday the president plans on making a televised appearance to encourage kids to study hard and stay in school. Not unlike former president George H. Bush's address to school kids in 1991 to encourage kids to say no to drugs. But if you listen to all the backwards thinking, evolution denying neo-cons out their Obama plans to indoctrinate America's youth with his socialist agenda.

Alright, let's get one thing straight right here, right now. Barack Obama is NOT A SOCIALIST. If he was I would be a lot happier with the guy. He's in corporate America's back pocket just like every other politician. (Just check out his bailout for proof of that.) There by he's not going to push some socialist agenda, he doesn't have one. Let's examine a quote from one mom who's obviously full of shit:

"Thinking about my kids in school having to listen to that just really upsets me," a suburban Colorado mother, Shanneen Barron, told CNN affiliate KMGH-TV in Denver.

"I'm an American. They are Americans, and I don't feel that's OK. I feel very scared to be in this country with our leadership right now."

Yeah, it's scary to think about someone encouraging your children to stay in school and study, because then they might be able to think, which obviously is some kind of issue for you.

So your an American eh? And your kids are too? Well guess what? So is the president. Um, so you can shut the fuck up now. Read a goddamn book, something other than the bible, and then you can open your mouth again.

Fuck this country.

-Jon J

What happened to Change?

In November 2008 the American people elected Barack Obama to office on a platform of hope and change. It's now almost September of 2009 and little has changed and people are losing hope(at least they should be).

One of the key points of Obama's campaign was the issue of fixing America's broken health care system. The mixed public-private health care system that we use in this country is the single most expensive in the world, medical debt is the number one cause of personal bankruptcy in the United States. The cost of health care for a single person is higher than any other nation in the world.

When confronting the issues facing health care reform in the 2008 elections Barack Obama campaigned with a platform of Universal Health Care. If you were to believe the promises made during the campaign, Obama wanted to create a system in which, through the creation of the National Health Insurance Exchange, both private insurance plans and a government run option. People would have health care regardless of the status of their health, and premiums would not vary based on that health status. Adults would not be required to have health insurance, but parents would be required to provide health insurance for their children. Obama's proposal included implementing guaranteed eligibility for affordable health care for all Americans, paid for by insurance reform, reducing costs, and requiring employers to either furnish meaningful coverage or contribute to a new public plan. In July 2008 while campaigning Obama promised to "bring down premiums by $2,500 for the typical family." Sounds great, but is Obama doing what he promised?

Well, not really. As of August 2009 our President has seemed to totally forgotten about his earlier promises. The bill currently on the congressional floor, supported by President Obama, would require all employers and individuals to buy health insurance or pay a penalty as well as removing the option for a public health care system from insurance choices. This doesn't exactly sound like what Obama was talking about on the campaign trail.

Now, I may get jumped for saying this, but it's times like this that I wish Barack Obama was more like George W. Bush. Now hold on a second before storming out and never reading this blog again. There wasn't anyone who was more anti-Bush than me in those dark, dark years. The man was an imbecile, war mongering coke head who believed that he was on a mission from god. These are not the qualities that one should look for in a leader. Obama is pretty much the exact opposite of Bush in almost every way possible. Obama is intelligent, thoughtful and well spoken. He's someone who takes his time and ways his options carefully. But he's also kind of a pussy.

If George W. Bush had one quality that can be respected it's the fact that he stuck to his guns. He never wavered, always pushed his agenda (or Cheney's agenda, or whatever corporate agenda) forward without doubt that he was right. We could use a little more of that attitude from Obama right about now. The compromises that Obama has made in regards to health care reform are gigantic, from promising us all Universal Health Care while campaigning to now basically more of the same bullshit that we've always had in this country. It's times like these that require strong leadership, but instead we've been left with a weak-willed president who doesn't want to offend anyone.

Alright Barack, I see through you now. You're not the bastion of hope and change that you promised in the election. You're just another politician who's unwilling to take a strong stand when it's important. You've broken promises, you've waffled and flip-flopped and shown your true colors. I'm sick of politicians. At the very least George W. Bush never gave a fuck what anyone thought about him or his actions. Not congress, not the voters or the rest of the world. Take a page from his book and grow a pair.

That's all.

-Jon J