An Open Letter to Aaron Cometbus

For those who don't know, Aaron Cometbus has been a pretty important figure in the punk scene since the late 80's. He's a drummer, lyricist and zinester. He's played in bands like Crimpshrine and Pinhead Gunpowder and has been publishing his zine, Cometbus, since 1983. He has also caused me much heartbreak and frustation. This is because the dude can't seem to stay in a band for more than 5 minutes at a time. So if anyone ever runs into Aaron, let them know how I feel. Anyway, here's my letter to Cometbus.

Dear Mr. Aaron Cometbus,

What's up? How are you doing? Me, I'm alright. I could be better though, and it can be directly impacted by you taking some action.

First, a little about myself. My name's Jon J and I'm a card carrying punk rocker from Chicago, Illinoise(come on feel the Illinoise!). I have been a fan of both your writings and your musical output. I first discovered Crimpshrine while still in high school, soon I found my way to Pinhead Gunpowder and Cleveland Bound Death Sentence. All top-notch shit good sir, my compliments. Now, I'll let you know that I have been very excited about your new group, The Thorns of Life. I've been obsessed with Jawbreaker for a very long time, hell I have their logo tattooed on my forearm. The thought of combining the powers of both yourself and one Mr. Blake Schwarzenbach into a rock n roll force previously unseen has gotten me positively throbbing in anticipation (no homo). I downloaded the bootleg of your show at Gilman St. and let me tell sir, my expectations were blown away. A tip of my hat sir.

But, now I log onto the interweb and what do I see? Rumors of you having left the Thorns of Life, leaving the future of the band unknown! Why have you done this to me, why have I been forsaken?

Really, would it kill you to stick in a band for more than 5 minutes? All your bands have been awesome, and your new band with Blake went beyond awesome into realms of Jawsome! But I guess I shouldn't be surprised really, it seems to be your M.O. Form awesome band with other punk rock luminary and then as soon as you've gotten the kids all hot and bothered with your devil rhythms quickly break up. I've seens it a number of times now, Mr. Cometbus, and this has to stop. Cleveland Bound Death Sentence was awesome, but it lasted what? About a year. Same thing with the Blank Fight, The Retard Beaters, Strawman and pretty much every other band you've been in. Christ, the only band that hasn't gone through that cycle is Pinhead Gunpowder, and you guys have put out what, like 4 albums in the past 18 years? You guys get together once every 5 years or so, so that one doesn't count.

Look, I'm not trying to force you do something that you don't want to do. If you're going to start a band just to break up a year later without the chance of me seeing the band or even releasing the music, please just don't. I've already had more heartbreak than I can bare.

Thanks,
Jon J